Caffeinated Mom

I'm a mother of three. I'm also married. I recently moved with my husband and children. I now live closer to my in-laws then my own family. Which has provided me with a lot of in-law jokes and stories. In my spare time I enjoy reading, crafts like knitting, or just playing games on the computer like World of Warcraft.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

In-laws Part 1

I am already dreading Christmas Dinner, and its over a month away. Christmas Dinner means dealing with the in-laws. *cue spooky music*

There's several reason I'm dreading a dinner with the in-laws:

Last time I saw my in-laws, it was very...irritating. We were all heading somewhere, and I was in the car with my husbands parents. I try to make some small talk, because his parents are argueing with each other over diretions. I mention that I want to buy my kids some laundry baskets of their own. My mother-in-law scoffs at this, saying I don't need anything like that. "Its the mother's job" to do stuff like pick up dirty laundry etc.

Not only would she never say such a thing to her own daughters, apparently she never did that for her own children. She made them pick up their own laundry etc according to my husband. I just shut up, and let them continue their argueing and swearing over directions.

They either treat me like a 12 year old, or they gossip and complain about me loudly while I'm in the next room. Actually, they'll gossip about me while I'm at the same dinner table. Uh-huh...sure, keep talking. I can't hear you.

They argue for the sake of argueing. They will honestly argue for 20 mins or so over what time one of them called the other that morning.

They also feel the need to parent my kids as if my husband and I can't parent them ourselves. My kids are very polite and well-behaved. Well, they are in public at least. ;)

Its not like we need help, or are asking for help to parent them. His in-laws are just very controlling.

The last time we saw them, my son was yelled at by both his aunts. One Aunt starts yelling at him over his drinking speed. So then my husband and her start argueing across the table at each other. While my son sits there looking confused and upset. She's gotta be an obsessive-compulsive control-freak. (Sorry, I couldn't come up with a better label, so I threw in a few.)

I had to explain to him, that he should not pay attention to that Aunt when she says weird things like that. She doesn't have any kids. Who trys to control a kids drinking speed? He wasn't even drinking that fast.

His other Aunt yelled at him to stop doing something right after I had told her he was allowed to do that something. It wasn't even anything rude, disruptive, or wrong. (She shouldn't be doing something like that agian. My husband had a chat with her over that. Better then me, it would have turned into some huge arguement if I did it, only because I'm the outsider here.) This aunt is a definate control freak. She'll get really upset at you if your, even just a couple minutes late for something like her kids birthday party. Because its all gotta be just perfect!

I also had to tell my son that he should listen to his Aunties, but ignore them if what they're telling him to do, or not do, contradicts what his father or I tell him. The poor kid. It took a great deal of effort on my part to keep that chat with my son a clean, insult free one.

When my kids start to date, I'll tell them that if they ever plan on marrying someone...they should first check out the future spouse's family.

Oh, and one time we had to live with them for a couple months. Because we had just moved back here, and couldn't find our own place fast enough.

Every day, they'd come home to a clean place, clean dishes put away etc. But one day I was getting motivated late, still in my PJs even when my mother-in-law finished her half day of work. After that I never heard the end of it. "You know you have to keep your place cleaned when you move in. You have to keep at it every day." etc. I heard that almost 5 times a day. Then a few weeks after I finally moved out and obtained freedom...I get a call from my mother-in-law just so she could tell me she misses comming home to clean dishes etc.

Patience...I have learnt a great deal about patience and keeping my mouth shut. I must thank my in-laws for that.